Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Member Devlin Black22/Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 139 Deviations 2,891 Comments 4,332 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Journal History

Activity


Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: violence/gore and strong language)
"Well let me remind you anyways....."

         It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. You and I were fishing for lions off the canopy in our mighty treefort. THEN...the ninjas attacked. We quickly and effortless fought them off, but they planted a bomb in our mighty fort of the tree. With only seconds to spare, we jumped into the jungle below. We fell were seemed like ages, that we had enough time to play Uno before we hit the ground. After gathering up the Uno cards that were scattered when we made impact, we searched for our new home amidst the ocean. After 40 days and 40 nights of utter boredom, walking, and fucking bitches, we made it to a port town.

         The town of Chimi-Changa. We asked around town, the best way to make money. The townsfolk told us we'd have to fight in the arena if we wanted money quick. We readily agreed, and signed up. As we were being led into the arena, we were told to pick a weapon. I picked up a broadsword.

         You, picked up your dick saying “That'll do donkey." And as you slung your mighty shlong over your shoulder, we marched out into the arena stadium. We were greeted by a cheers and boos from the crowd and roaring PMS dragons from over the Great Wall of Vagina. We fought the dragons and slaughtered them. I cut them with my sword, you bashed them with your dick. We were an unstoppable team. We fought through a 100 rounds of enemies. We fought great beasts like the mighty Dickosaurus. Manticores, Griffins, giant fucking spiders, Minotaurs, deadly ass raping scorpions. Beasts from all over. Even...the mighty narwhal. We destroyed them. You smashed them down with your dick, and I cut they're heads off with my mighty blade, which we learned was the enchanted blade of Mighty Doom. Which was great at causing doom.

         Eventually we made to the last fight, against the champion. The champion was a giant onion with arms and legs, wielding a mace of pure stank. We were tired, our Monotone was getting low. We almost gave a fuck. But you were revitalized. The onion stank empowered you.

         Your dick turned green, and you shouted "It's time...FOR AN OGRELOAD!!!" And you started spinning your dick around, causing a mass twister of mighty green dick. The onion's layers came peeling off. His stank mace was sucked in by the dick winds. As the onion was stripped away, I saw my chance, and made the final strike. Slashed through, I managed to cut the heart in two. As you stopped twirling your dick, and it returned to it's normal color, we picked up the halves of heart and ate them.

         We exclaimed to the crowd "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!" And they cheered. They were fucking entertained alright. We demanded our gold, and got the fuck out of there. We found a master shipbuilder, and commissioned him to build us a mighty ship. He said he'd have it done in a year, we told him he had a week or he was getting dick smashed. He complied.

         After that week, we beheld our ship. And as I wondered "What should we name it?"

         You responded with, “What else? It's our ship.” and bro fisted like no other, and that was how we came about our ship, the S.S. Devlowishus.

That was the last time you were stressed. <B


- Excerpt from the Life and Adventures of Devlin and Alowishus. This came about when Alowishus forgot the last time he had been stressed, and Devlin reminded him.
The Last Time You Were Stressed
Alright so....this is gonna seem pretty fucking weird. Not my usual M.O. on this site, but fuck it. Alright, so my buddy Alowishus (or Al, for short) posted a status on Facebook one day about how he couldn't remember the last time he had been stressed. I took it upon myself to write about the last time he had been stressed. Bits of this came from my knowledge on our own humor, such as the small amount of Shrek puns (he's a big fan of the Shrek is love, Shrek is life thing), our worship of a state of mind called "Monotone", etc. Anyways one of our mutual friends had apparently "shipped us together" at one point. And being the smartass I am, I took shipping as "Getting a boat of some sort" instead how it's normally taken by people on the internet.
For those that don't know, shipping is normally when a fan of a series pairs up characters of said series as a couple, and they're usually a mix of the two characters names and example being Edward Elric and Winry Rockbell from Full Metal Alchemist, that pairing is called "Edwin."
Happens a lot nowadays. Personally I don't care, hence why I would twist it as "I'm getting a boat??" or "They have a boat???" Ya know. Just being me. Anyways, me and my buddy Al had been shipped together, and he joined in on "It's a boat" thing. So are "ship" is named the S.S. Devlowishus (a combo of our two names) and it's a apparently an Imperial Star Destroyer from Star Wars. I ain't complaining, those look boss and I love Star Wars.
Anyways, this is my imagination on a daily thing when I'm having fun. Like....fun fun.

Also, for those who would wonder what the <B is. That is called the "Bro Heart" it's like your normal heart made the <3 but is made with a '<' and 'B' cuz the B is for "Bro." It's just our fun way of expressing our content with one another and the fact we have a decent friendship. ^_^
Loading...
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: strong language)
I hate getting attached.
It's fucking bullshit.
Every time I just try and try,
and it just makes me want to quit.

Every time I find someone
that I really like,
we'll have this moment of closeness,
and it's like my heart got stuck on a pike.

I try and I try to talk to them.
To keep the feeling alive,
but it's like suddenly there's a wall there,
and I'm trying to get through that just so WE can thrive.

But it's like that wall is more a mountain,
and I'm digging with my bare hands.
I'm even willing to open my heart to them.
Yes, the one that I've covered in iron bands.

Trying like that honestly fucking hurts.
I wish it'd be easy for once.
That way nobody got hurt,
but a wish like that is the wish of a dunce.

I hate getting attached.
At least when it gets like this.
There's very little I want too.
I just mostly want a kiss.

Getting attached like that is my problem.
I think I have a handle on it,
but I guess really don't.
Good news is I can admit.

That's the one thing I hate,
and it's a hate quite unmatched.
The long story short is,
I hate getting attached...
Attached
Yeah. Long story short, an old high school crush happened back into my life and we had a bit of a thing. And we're both really willing to try and work this out, but getting the opportunity to talk and get to know each other more has been very difficult. But we were both really into each other back in high school (and still are) and both of our feelings never left...so all the feelings are coming back to me and it's really hitting me hard. Yeah...
Loading...
Just so you all know....I'm still alive. Not much is different with life so long story short, I'm ok and stuff. I'm still working on my fanfic...writing is still pretty hard. Good news is, I am almost done with chapter 1. Sorry it's taking so long XD
BUT, I am getting better at the creative process. I am getting more ideas and whatnot, I am just having trouble with motivation or I get distracted by the internet...which is funny. I have a story map planned out though, and character ideas, along with story ideas as well. SO it's coming along fairly well, even if slow. Just figured you peeps would care to know and stuff. Have a good one guys. 
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: In Flames
  • Reading: The text on every screen my eyes are upon.
  • Watching: TV
  • Eating: I am hungry
  • Drinking: I am thristy
Well, it's kinda late...but it is about 10:40PM now on January 7th of 2015....and today at around 2:00PM earlier today the old man was buried. He buried at one of the veteran cemeteries in California (since that's where I live), because as he was a veteran back in the day during WW2 and whatnot, he was lucky enough to get full honors and whatnot to his funeral. It was a fairly nice, and short funeral. It was open casket. Not gonna lie, throughout the whole day me and the guys kept cracking jokes and whatnot. Why? Dunno....either we're assholes, or we just didn't wanna feel sad today by any means so we did our thing and just kept saying shit to keep our spirits up I guess. The old man looked kinda like draugr from Skyrim in the casket. Aside from the joking we made today, we got to put the casket in the hearse on the way to cemetery, and then as we got there the military people there took over unloading him and whatnot. They fired off the gun a few times. It scared the shit outta Jon. Kinda funny. I think what made it not as....feelsy today, was because it was so short. Aside from that, it was...well...kind of a dull day...dunno why. Isn't my first time being at a funeral. But it's the first time I've been at a funeral where I was actually involved in someone's life to a degree, even if I didn't like being around the old man as much (not out of hatred or anything, I'm just an antisocial prick to 90% of the world lol) we were in each others lives. he married my grandma, and I took up a space in his house whether he liked it or not. And he liked it. Why? Dunno....he was a genuinely nice guy, more so than I'll ever be. Not to be hard on myself, but it's true...I'm an asshole, a nice asshole, an asshole you like, even though I talk a lot of shit, but an asshole nonetheless. Him...well, he was the nicest guy I could say I've ever met. He married my grandma, let me and her into his home before that even became a thing, and then took in 3 of my friends into our home. Did my grandma on whim take in my friends when they had nowhere to go? Honestly, no, I mean she was cool with it, but the first one to say "Well let him live here!" was always the old man before my grandma could even think about asking. I don't know if I could ever be that nice...I mean I probably could, but ya know...I'm different. I don't even know why I started this journal...probably cuz I haven't said shit on here for a few days. Yeah...I'm still looking for a job, and I'm still trying to do other things with life....yeah. Am I sad? Kinda...I think it's hitting me now that I'm in my room alone, at night. The old man wasn't much to me, I won't lie...but he was a lot to my grandma...why I care, I have no idea. guess I cared more than I'd like to admit. The house is quieter now without him yelling random things at the tv or the dogs. I'm used to it already, but I still think I'm gonna run into him at times in the morning. I can't say I'll miss him specifically, because I had no real bond with him, but I will say I kinda miss his presence at least. I don't know...maybe I will miss him just a bit. Sorry if this is really depressing. I guess i needed to say something somewhere. Well, aside from that...thanks guys. Hope your day, week, or whatever goes good. Or at least better than my days. Not to say my day sucked, but I can't say it was a glorious day of majesty now can I? I mean, I was at a funeral for fuck's sake lol. Yeah..have a good one you guys.
  • Mood: Uneasy
  • Reading: The text on every screen my eyes are upon.
  • Watching: TV
Well....honestly, it was bittersweet. The old man died on x-mas. And honestly, it sucks hard. Why? Because...shit has to change. Me and Jon really have to find jobs to help support the house. We get cut off from our allowance because half our income was the old man's retirement checks, and my grandma's isn't enough to support us. It just affects me because I actually used my allowance to pay my phone bill and whatnot, ya know...do something responsible with it. So I have to figure out ways to earn money, while looking for a job as well. Along with that, I'm still trying to get my Air Force thing going, but I have to gain weight still along with getting some medical stuff done. Honestly, I'd rather not have to start off the first journal entry of the new year with something so depressing, but I kinda lagged on it after x-mas.
Well, as for something a little less depressing, for x-mas, I got an Xbox One. That's probably the most important thing I got worth mentioning. Games I have are Shadow of Mordor (which is pissing me off right now lol), Assassin's Creed Unity (which I am loving, favorite in the series so far), and Warframe (which I have been having fun with thanks to Dudley, and Andy, and some friends I met through them on Live). I also downloaded some other games recently, which are Volgar the Viking (looked interesting), Worms Battlegrounds (fuck it yo), and D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die (I read about it and it seemed interesting as Hell.) Have yet to play em though.
I just remembered, I'm also trying to improve my diet a little better. Not for any new years resolution, but if I can cut back on a lot on enough unhealthy things, and whatnot (that includes soda T^T), I can start donating plasma again regularly. If I do that, then I'll be set on cash I can bring in, both for the house, and my own financial needs. So I have some sort of plan I can try.

Now, as for new years. I didn't do much. I spent it at my buddy Vince's place. He was having a nice shindig there. Got to see some friends I don't see often. Angel cooked some carne asada and some chicken in the old ways of the Mexican people. By the old ways, I mean he grabbed a barrel, filled it full of charcoal, poured a fuck ton of lighter fluid in it, and set up a rack over the barrel and cooked meat in probably one ghetto ass way lol. It was pretty fun though. Had a few drinks. I didn't drink much though, had two Mike's and one Corona, after the Corona I was done. I hate beer. It tastes bad. Larry kept trying to tell me to drink beer and "man up" and I told him if he wants me to drink that's fine, but I only drink liquor or Mike's or Smirnoff. Other than that I kept telling him to fuck off, or bite me everytime he said it. Oh! and because I keep forgetting about the order of things in which they happen. I started the new year off single. Yes single. We broke up a few days after x-mas. Depressing right? Honestly, I wasn't too worried about it this time. I mean yeah, it sucked. But I have myself to focus on so I can't afford to be heartbroken. Besides, I kinda saw it coming like a mile away. It was a mutual breakup though. She told me that even though she was happy with me, she was still unhappy a good majority of the time even while with me and a few other reasons on why we should breakup. I told her it was ok and I understand. So yeah. Single. But like I said, I'm not fretting over it. Though as my luck would have it, I meet some cute blonde girl last night and wouldn't ya know it, not only is she taken...but she's lesbian too! Haha, oh well. It's only the start of the new year. So I can only hope things get better.

Now, as for the promised fanfic I'm working on....honestly, don't expect it anytime soon. I'm working on it, but my pace is my pace and right now, it is slow thanks to life and whatnot. Though I am getting ideas and I have decent writing coach whenever I have a question (you know who you are ;) ) so be assured, I'm still working on it.

Anyways, hope you all had a better holiday season than I did, and I hope your new year turns out great.
  • Mood: Screwed
  • Reading: The text on every screen my eyes are upon.
  • Watching: TV

deviantID

DevlinTheBlack
Devlin Black
United States
So....Imma pretty easy guy kinda of an asshole or a nice guy at first if we first meet on the internet instead of in real life....Imma good friend if ya actually get to know me....a HUGE pervert(usually in jokes mostly)...possibly a good boyfriend...I think...idk, I've only ever had 1 girlfriend.... kinda random.....I like to think alot...and I daydream alot, usually about being a super hero or different scenarios in my life that could've happened or never will happen...and space out.....listen to my music (usually when im thinking, daydreaming, or spacing out)....and I think that right now im gonna be a lonely bastard in love for the rest of my life....and I don't care....I got me my friends....and that's good enough for me....but it doesn't mean I won't accept love....I just now aint gonna look for it...It can find me....fat chance that will happen (in my opinion anyways)...ya I forgot to mention...as much as I'm a cheerful, happy go lucky, loud, obnoxious asshole who probably seems to be a load of fun....I'm also very pessimistic when it comes to myself....I can't help it...I just am....but like any other guy I'll probably be disgusting and fart and burp in public (if it helps I tend to curb myself around pretty girls) or make some obscene comment about my bowels and what I do in the bathroom. Also YES I fucking masturbate...I don't care....not like it matters really cuz whether I have or don't have a girlfriend I don't expect them to "put out" really...so I got a hand and I watch porn...deal with it, I also curse like a fucking sailor....I'll use every bad, obscene, dirty, and racist word out there cuz half the time I won't give a shit (unless I'm being nice, around a friends parents, a person I'm working for, my own grandmother, or talking to a new friend cuz I don't wanna scare em off...yet) and I'll even do it in public around little kids...cuz they ain't my kids yo...or any kid related to my friends also...but ya...I fucking talk alot of obscene shit....deal with it but be grateful I'm willing to curb it sometimes. Let's see....I like video games, I own an Xbox 360 but I do like PS3 as well so you can't really tell me to pick cuz I just went with what was available at the time for me....I play action/adventure games, RPGs, fighting games, the only shooters I ever really play are Halo or Gears of Wars, cuz I hate Call of Duty and most other shooters...I suck at em....I like Final Fantasy, Pokemon, the Devil May Cry series, the Kingdom Hearts series, Prototype 1 and 2,the .Hack// series and .Hack G.U. series, Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3, Naruto games, Dragonball Z games, Darksiders, Legend of Zelda series, the Metroid series, Super hero games (though the ones based off movies usually suck), speaking of super heroes Batman: Arkham City is another I play...um..guess that's it for now on games...not exactly a fan of MMOs(few exceptions). I'm a big anime, manga, and comic book super hero nerd. I like Bleach, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gundam, Inuyasha, Dragonball (Z) and (GT) as well, if it interests me I'll watch it or read it (depending on what version I prefer manga or anime version). I'm a big Star Wars fan, not a trekky though. I'm also a HUUUUGE Batman fan as one of my exclamatory remarks is "I'm Batman!!!" along with "My parents are deeaaadd!!!!". Also I'm a fan of Green Lantern, Wolverine, Spider-Man, Venom, Hulk, and a few others I can't remember atm. I don't exactly have parents, so there is some truth to the "My parents are dead" thing. I was raised by my grandparents since I was 3, I have no clue who my mom is other than name and stuff my grandma tells me and I hate my father, he's a total douche who wants to beat up his own son for stupid reasons and deserves to die and it's my lifes goal to surpass and be better than him....I feel like I inherited a lot sin from him and I wanna get rid of it...by being a better person and father than he is and ever will be. But that shit don't affect me negatively(much...I have my moments), I'll let you be the judge of that, but just sayin I turned out pretty well for a kid with no parents. I have a few siblings but the one you will hear me mention the most is my little sister Sage who is 15 and I love her to death and refer to her as my baby sister even though there's younger but I knew of her since she was born and it'll be almost 2 years since we really started to getting along, and I love her very much and she is very important to me and I worry about her alot cuz she is depressed most of the time and I worry about her cutting but I'll do whatever I can for her cuz I'm her big brother. Speaking of cutting...I have scars...some from my own problems but a majority of em are from this deal I make with any friends(or sister too) who cut or have a history of cutting...the deal is...if you cut then I cut, and I will make just as many if not more...I don't like my friends being hurt...and if I have to be hurt to show them there's no need to bleed out their problems and there's always something else...or even someone else that can make them happy or get rid of that anger or depression they have then I'm willing to make as many marks on me as needed. Also when it comes to girls I can fall pretty hard...granted I will pick myself up well enough on my own....but let's just say when it comes to girls and me falling then I got enough scrapes and bruises on that heart of mine and I'm sure I might keep gettin em...but I wouldn't mind if one of those girls I just happens to fall for helps me up ya know....just sayin. I don't smoke cigarettes but I do smoke hookah (google it if ya don't know it) or drink unless I'm up to party or very depressed (or single but that's usually related to the depression anyways) and NO DRUGS and I'm more or less a fun guy all around...I do keep shit bottled up inside but only cuz I'm very selective on who I want to hear my problems. It's not even a matter of trust...I'm just that picky and it even depends on what kinda problem too...so ya...
But I'm willing to help others and the least I can do for someone is be a listener and a shoulder to cry on and give a nice big hug....so what say you?? Wanna be friends? or maybe even more? :)

Also this is the most I've ever written in a while...and GODDAMN!!!! :O

Current Residence: Bakersfield, California

deviantWEAR sizing preference: idunno

Print preference: dunno

Music tastes: Atreyu, Hell or Highwater, Avenged Sevenfold, Rise Against, A Day to Remember, Blink 182, Sum 41, The Used, Anberlin, Queen, Good Charlotte, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Papa Roach, Panic! at The Disco, Slipknot, My Chemical Romance, Breaking Benjamin, Simple Plan, Nickelback, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Bullet For My Valentine, 30 Seconds to Mars, Muse, Pain, Lostprophets, Staind, Lifehouse, Blind Guardian, All Time Low, As I Lay Dying, Hoobastank, Senses Fail, Killswitch Engage, Chevelle, Red, Matchbox 20, Parkway Drive, In Flames, Sonic Syndicate, AFI, The Killers, The Ataris, Korpiklaani,Third Eye Blind, Eve 6, Four Year Strong, Skillet, Hinder, Get Scared, Five Finger Death Punch, Asking Alexandria, Paramore, Dragonforce, System of a Down, Thousand Foot Krutch, New Found Glory, Japanese music...usually rock or pop ones that I heard off an anime opening or something, I also really like love songs....dunno why :)

Favourite photographer: my friends :)

Favourite style of art: dunno

Operating System: Windows?

MP3 player of choice: IPod Bitches!!! :D

Shell of choice: Shell? Like a zebratoise or some shit?

Wallpaper of choice: Whatever i like most atm

Skin of choice: Um...my own skin seems fine thanks :D

Favourite cartoon character: Gir

Personal Quote: "Words only have as much power as you let them hold."
Interests
Just so you all know....I'm still alive. Not much is different with life so long story short, I'm ok and stuff. I'm still working on my fanfic...writing is still pretty hard. Good news is, I am almost done with chapter 1. Sorry it's taking so long XD
BUT, I am getting better at the creative process. I am getting more ideas and whatnot, I am just having trouble with motivation or I get distracted by the internet...which is funny. I have a story map planned out though, and character ideas, along with story ideas as well. SO it's coming along fairly well, even if slow. Just figured you peeps would care to know and stuff. Have a good one guys. 
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: In Flames
  • Reading: The text on every screen my eyes are upon.
  • Watching: TV
  • Eating: I am hungry
  • Drinking: I am thristy

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Friends

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconchristopher-stoll:
Christopher-Stoll Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch!!
and-I-love-you-random-citizen-megamind-16948886-19 by Christopher-Stoll  
Reply
:icondevlintheblack:
DevlinTheBlack Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015
You're welcome ^_^
Reply
:iconkittyhimee:
KittyHimee Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015
♥ Hi there kitten ~* 
♥ I used to be known as DemoiselleCourtoisie, but I no longer affiliate to the name and decided to change it to something more ''me''.
♥ I am writting to you because you are watching me, here, on DeviantART and I was thinking that maybe you'd be interested in liking my Facebook page as well !
♥ On there I am way more active and I plan to post some cosplay progress, make up tutorials and just everything I do that might interest you ~
♥ Thank you very much all in all, even if you decide that you don't want to follow me there too.

www.facebook.com/KittyHimee

xox
Kitty Himee
Reply
:icondeskridge:
deskridge Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014   Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:!
Reply
:icondevlintheblack:
DevlinTheBlack Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014
You're welcome ^_^
Reply
:iconzacavalanche:
ZacAvalanche Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Student General Artist
Hey!  Thanks for the llama! :la: He appears to be in great shape.  
I'll strive to take excellent care of him. :D

Cheers! 
:llama:  Captain Jean-Luc Picard by ZacAvalanche
Reply
:iconpyro-helfier:
pyro-helfier Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014   General Artist
Thank you very much for the faves and +watch.  I appreciate it! :D
Reply
:icondevlintheblack:
DevlinTheBlack Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014
You're very welcome ^_^
Reply
:iconhsvhrt:
hsvhrt Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014
Thank you for the favs, I really appreciate it.
Reply
:icondevlintheblack:
DevlinTheBlack Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014
You're welcome ^_^
Reply
Add a Comment: